my dreams are not for sale

Yesterday I sold my soul to Corporate America, but tomorrow I'm going to get it back.

In an act of desperation, I decided I was going to join the Work At Home Corporation (renamed because I don't want to get in more touble than I will already!) because I bought into the idea that making money was top priority over all. Yes, I need to make money to support myself and my family. But I have worked for a nonprofit before, and I can do it again. Just because I applied for 20 jobs and basically got rejected for all of them didn't mean that I had to give up. I just graduated from the SIT Graduate Institute with a Master's in Social Justice in Intercultural Relations!

But there I was, driving past Walmart in some sort of symbolic departure from my senses. I drove to the woman's house and I signed over a big chunk of change with the promise of earning lots of money. Wait...paying money to earn money? As I said, I departed from my senses. So the plan for "Work at Home Corporation" has worked for some people. Some have made millions. I thought...this will be great for paying off my student loans! I'm saved!

And then today I spent most of the day crying. Heartfelt tears. What was happening to my water project dreams? I had convinced myself when I signed up that I would earn money and then donate some of it to an NGO in Cameroon or start my own foundation. How very noble of me. So then why was I crying?

My dreams are not for sale. Who I am is not for sale. Who am I? I am someone who is not willing to work 40 hours a week just to pad my pocket with cash, but I am someone who IS willing to work 60 hours a week in the dirt until clean water is available. I am someone who knows that my very humanity is wrapped up in the wellness of others regardless of political borders or skin color or religion or whatever differences that God blessed us with. I am not perfect. Sometimes I am selfish. Sometimes I'm not. But I am someone who wants to leave behind a legacy of love, respect, and sustainable change for good.

I'm quitting that job tomorrow and I'm going to apply for one billion more nonprofit jobs if I have to.
And I will not be sold.